Today I heard the following come from a mum to another mum, sat only a few feet from me in a swimming pool.
"I cant believe that kid still has a float jacket on!'
There are about twenty kids in the pool, and corresponding mums. (Who are all desperately trying to hide their 'thunder thighs' under the barely warm, piss ridden water).
Oh, and Boy is the only one in a float jacket)
"Mine were out of jackets by the time they were one"
(Mumbiches kids are splashing about, trying to drown each other while mine is attached to my neck like a very frightened kola, slowly pulling my (not big enough) bikini top down)
"She needs to get him some swimming lessons."
Thanks very much FELLOW Mum.
I leave, nearly crying.
Then I am angry that I'm crying.
Then I'm angry at them for being so judgemental.. and loud about it.
Then I'm freaking out because I think Boy is abnormal and will grow up frightened of water.
He will grow up to be teased.
He will fall in to a lake...
I am the worlds WORST mum.
I reach my mums where I get total sympathy and a firm yet totally empathetic talking to.
My son is normal (if a little...spirited??)
He will learn to swim when he is ready (and when I can afford swimming lessons)
He will grow up to be well rounded as I will teach him not to be affected by teasing.
He is not frightened of water... he regularly pours it all over my carpet.
I am a GOOD mum (not the best, but then, she doesn't exist..)